she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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