Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So much Jack, so little girl.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
