go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
