its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
