i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
