She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize