Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
