I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He? As in you personified your dick?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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