I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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