WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize