In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
