She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
