he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
