the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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