When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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