It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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