very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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