Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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