We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
the liver wants what the liver wants
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
