watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
