i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
