went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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