I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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