Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
