At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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