Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
