end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
