i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
only if we run a train.
done.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
