My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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