All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
