another moral hangover. fuck.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize