I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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