Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
