even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize