i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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