it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
