I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
