Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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