At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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