I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize