i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
