I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
