So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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