Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
