Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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