I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
