so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
