Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have fence marks all over my body
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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