is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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