I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
