similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We left the knife in your bed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
