Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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