New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was like eating out sand paper
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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