Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
