More tranny stories later!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
