Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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