yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
