i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
