why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
