We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
