what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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