He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
