Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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