awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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