nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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