you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
