I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
