I'm drive I can fine osifer
I faked an abortion last night.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
