Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
